One of my favorite tools this past year: temporary contracts with myself. They help me focus on what matters, and — most importantly — stop beating myself up.
There are two kinds of temporary contract: “temporary focus” and “temporary oblivion.”
Focus is intuitive enough. You start a new project at work — consider it a signed contract that you’ll pour lots of time and energy into this thing every day. Same with a new hobby. Or a new relationship.
But for me, the most effective contracts are the ones about “temporary oblivion.” They sound roughly like this:
“Right now I’m putting project X on pause, and I’ll come back to it in Y months.”
[!A personal example] I know I need to level up my Spanish. I know it takes a few intensive weeks with a tutor. But right now I don’t have the time or the energy for it. So I sign a contract with myself: I won’t think about it until the end of the year. And I won’t gnaw at myself over it. I’ll get by on my basic Spanish, a smile, and some gestures.
[!A work example] I know I need to grow the business and bring new subscribers into the PRO community. But right now there’s a new cohort running on the Hello New Job course, where I lead the Fast Track. Which means an intense few weeks ahead for all of us. So for those weeks I deliberately forget about bringing in new members. I’ll think about it afterward.
There are always a lot of “I really should”s in your head.
- I should take care of my health.
- I should get braces.
- I should read Joyce.
- I should go to that Barcelona tech meetup.
- Spanish, again.
Okay — maybe all of this really is necessary. I’ll think about it in X weeks. And until then, I’m not going to mess with my own head.
That’s temporary, deliberate oblivion for you.